The Flavor of Leadership: Why Authenticity Is the Secret Ingredient
Over the 4th of July weekend, I spent a lot of time standing in front of my grill, my griddle, and my Discada, sweating in the heat, flipping meat, seasoning veggies, and making sure the food hit just right for my guests.
And like most moments where you’re focused on the details but your mind is free to wander, I started thinking.
I thought about flavor.
About how much intention I put into getting that seasoning right, not just so the food tasted good, but so people felt cared for. I wasn’t just cooking to impress. I was cooking to connect. I wanted people to feel something, to know that I put time, thought, and a little heart into what I was serving them.
And that got me thinking about the best pasta I’ve ever had…
The best plate of pasta I ever had wasn’t in some five-star spot with white tablecloths and a wine list the size of a phone book. It was in a small town in Tuscany, Cortona, Italy. First time I had ever been to the region. My wife and I were walking through these quiet alleyways, exploring little side streets, trying to find something off the beaten path. We finally came across this tiny family-run place. No English menus. No fancy signs. Just the smell of something slow-cooking in the back and a couple tables inside like it was somebody’s home.
What they brought out was a plate of pasta carbonara. Simple, creamy, peppery, no heavy sauce, no shortcuts. Just eggs, cheese, pancetta, and pasta, done right. It was so good, I had to slow down and savor every bite. And there was no performance. No hype. Just good food made with love and tradition. I’ve never had anything like it since.
And even though it seems kind of corny, I think about that plate all the time, especially when it comes to leadership.
What Flavor Are You Bringing to the Table?
The thing about authenticity, whether it’s in food or leadership, is that people can tell when it’s real. And they can definitely tell when it’s not.
You can follow all the trends. Copy what everyone else is doing. Say all the right things in a meeting. But if it’s not coming from the real you, your team will know.
And more importantly, they’ll feel it.
Because people don’t follow titles. They follow truth.
They follow the leaders who bring something with real flavor, not someone else’s recipe. I know this from personal experience. It’s part of finding your own leadership style. You try to emulate others until you find your own flavor.
What Flavoring Looks Like in Leadership
Being an authentic leader isn’t about spilling your life story every time you talk. It’s not about trying to be everyone’s best friend. It’s about showing up with truth, care, and clarity.
It means:
Having conversations that matter, not just checking boxes
Being honest about what you know and what you don’t
Being consistent — especially when things are tough
And inviting your team to bring their flavor too
It also means giving feedback that’s honest and helpful, not harsh or avoidant.
Look, no one wants a plate full of salt. But the right seasoning can change everything.
That’s how I think about feedback. Like Kim Scott talks about in Radical Candor, it’s about caring personally while still challenging directly. And Crucial Conversations reminds us: it’s not just what you say, it’s how safe people feel when you say it.
If you want your team to grow, give them something they can actually take in. Not just swallow.
In the FEED Model, Flavor Is Everything
If FEED is about what you offer, and FUEL is how you energize your people, then FLAVOR is what makes it stick. It’s how your team experiences your leadership: the tone, the timing, the temperature. Your values. Your rhythm. Your seasoning.
You don’t need to be everybody’s favorite dish. But you do need to be real. It may not be easy, but it is crucial if you want to drive authentic change.
What About You?
What flavor are you bringing as a leader?
Is your team getting the real thing, or something reheated, processed, or passed down from someone else’s playbook?
Drop a comment:
When’s a time someone’s authenticity made a real difference in how you trusted, worked, or led?
Or tell me about the most authentic meal you’ve ever had and what it reminded you of.
Leadership Reflection: A Flavor Check
If you were to audit your leadership this past week, what would it taste like?
Would it feel real, warm, and intentional or rushed, routine, and bland?
Try this:
Write down 3 moments this week where you interacted with your team.
For each, ask yourself: Did I show up as the real me? Did I flavor that moment with presence, care, or clarity?
Identify one way you can “season” your leadership differently this week, whether it’s giving more direct feedback, asking a deeper question, or simply showing up more consistently.
Remember, flavor doesn’t mean extra. It means intentional.
What you serve up as a leader sticks.
Make sure it’s something your team will remember for the right reasons.